Stroller Envy

Originally published in the Syracuse Islander

Having twins complicates things.  Some of the complications I anticipated well before the boys were born, like sleeping arrangements, feeding arrangements and the increase in dirty laundry.  One obstacle I never saw coming was the effort it takes to leave the house. 

At my house, there are two babies to load and two big kids to load.  That’s four seatbelts to buckle.  (Not to mention the effort that goes into packing the diaper bag. We have a sizeable diaper bag.)  The days of “quickly running” into a store are long gone.  If I need to venture into a store, even for a minute, I have to unload both babies, one at a time, into the double stroller.  Shop and, if I choose to buy something, find a way to balance my purchase on the stroller. Check out and then make our way back into the car seats.   

We hibernated all autumn, winter and most of spring.  But now that it’s summer, it’s time to venture out and have some fun.  It’s time to load and unload and use our double stroller. I’ll admit, I’m getting pretty good. I’m like a NASCAR pit crew.

But this double stroller may be the end of me.  It looks fancy with its bright red material, double canopy, storage baskets and cup holder.  But honestly, I need a flashing sign that reads ‘wide load.’  With four sets of wheels, I can only make it through a standard doorway at the perfect angle.  It takes precision.  It must be a real sight.  I reach for the door with my right hand, drag it open with my right foot, prop it open with my booty while I maneuver Big Red (yes, that’s what I really call it) over the threshold. Occasionally people will offer to help with a door and for that I smile and say thank you.  But often they just smile at me and ask, “are they twins?” 

I answer their question and the questions that follow. “Yes, they are twins.  Yes I have my hands full.  No, this is not my preferred method of transportation.” 

I’ve actually developed a major case of umbrella stroller envy.  I find myself starring obnoxiously at any simple umbrella stroller that passes by.  They are darling!  So tiny and compact.  So simple.  Ah, to be simple again.

But Big Red has a hidden feature.  Draped on the back of my wide stroller is a huge diaper bag.  Sometimes also a swim bag, lunch bag and lawn chair (or two).  Big Red is a modern day pack-mule.  With four kids under the age of six, I need a pack mule.  I’d like to see any petite little umbrella stroller try that!